I feel like I'm between a rock and a hard place lately. I never get to see my husband. I miss and love Adam, and soon he's going to be working graveyards. I already see him so infrequently that I'm afraid the only times I'll even be awake is when I'm not home because he left to watch the kids. I remember what it was like when I work graveyards and I was able to live on 3 hours of sleep a day.
I don't even know what to work towards. I don't really know what I want, because the more I think about it the more I realize but it's hard to live freely and not worry about money. We work so much right now just to be able to survive but we don't have time to actually do the things we love or work towards goals to make our future better. We constantly think that this is temporary and it's going to get better but it doesn't feel temporary. It feels like one of those age old life stories where you end up old in the end in the blink of an eye and you never really got anywhere. You just worked and worked and worked to make things work.
It's really really hard to balance work with trying to make a career was trying to spend time with your kids was trying to clean your house was trying to eat everyday and was trying to spend time with your best friend and spouse. Life can be so hard, & I really don't know where to go from here. I want to work towards something in the future and for the future...
