Take off your Bras and Burnham

Art is dead.
Art is dead.
Art is dead.
Art is dead.

Entertainers like to seem complicated
But we're not complicated
I can explain it pretty easily

Have you ever been to a birthday
Party for children?
And one of the children
Won't stop screaming
'Cause he's just a little
Attention attractor

When he grows up
To be a comic or actor
He'll be rewarded
For never maturing
For never under-
Standing or learning

That every day
Can't be about him
There's other people
You selfish ass hole

I must be psychotic
I must be demented
To think that I'm worthy
Of all this attention

Of all of this money, you worked really hard for
I slept in late while you worked at the drug store
My drug's attention, I am an addict
But I get paid to indulge in my habit
It's all an illusion, I'm wearing make-up, I'm wearing make-up
Make-up, make-up, make-up, make...

Art is dead
So people think you're funny, how do you get those peoples money
Said art is dead
We're rolling in dough, while Carlin rolls in his grave
His grave, his grave

The show has got a budget
The show has got a budget
And all the poor people way more deserving, of the money
Won't budge it

'Cause I wanted my name in lights
When I could have feed a family of four
For forty fucking fortnights
Forty fucking fortnights

I am an artist, please God forgive me
I am an artist, please don't revere me
I am an artist, please don't respect me
I am an artist, you're free to correct me

A self-centered artist
Self-obsessed artist
I am an artist
I am an artist

But I'm just a kid
I'm just a kid
I'm just a kid
Kid
And maybe I'll grow out of it

Tears and tears

I wish I had someone to talk to. I feel like all I have is adam for this one. I dont want anyone to pity me and I'm the worst at getting help. I've been crying every day. Its not hormones. I wish it was.

I'm crying now because you can't tell a 3 year old that you are frustrated with him not being potty trained because all of his underwear are now dirty and we don't have any diapers because we only only have $20 for the next week and mommy needs that for food and gas.

How do I tell him that the only we we can eat more than bread and the garbage jelly and peanut butter and canned beans wic gave us is if i sacrifice the $40 my mom gave me for the chiropractor so I can walk without all of this pain every day?

I couldn't tell him I was crying earlier because his dad already decided to sacrifice that money without asking me so that we can pay last months mortgage and start worrying about the next one somehow.

I just don't know what to do.  I feel so helpless. I'm always hungry and in pain and just sad...

Roommate frustration

I'd like to be able to give my kid a bath regularly. Hell I'd love to get a shower/bath myself regularly. Someone is ALWAYS in the bathroom (yes we have two) and when I get to take a shower someone gets in the other one so the warm warer stops to mine. Every two weeks I try to enjoy a shower to no avail.

When I gove oliver a bath the tub is cligged and dirty. His toys are missing and replaced with their products. They don't clean anything. There isn't evwn a garbage in that bathroom.

They are inconsiderate.  I'm always missing things that their kids take or break or lose (and no one warches or fixes or cleans. It all just gets left for me to clean.) A third of the work I do regularly is to clean up their stuff.

I'd like to do my laundry.  Somehow she is doing laundry 24/7. When she's not home I have to finish hers in order to start mine cause clothes are left in the washer and dryer.

They leave the lights on no matter what time of say it is. I hare to say it but I'm starving and broke and 2/3 of all warer and at least half of all electric is going to them.

I just want peace.  I want my stuff to be minem is that selfish?  I want my stuff to stay where I put it. I want family heirlooms back and not broken. I wanr to feel like I'm getting what I've worked for.

Most of all I want someone to consider me.  My needs, my wants, how much work I do regularly.  Someone do something nice for me?

Thank god for candace. Shes the only person I feel really does things for me without being told to.  Ugh

Soul seeking

I did some meditating and soul seeking. I narrowed it down and located the feeling of abandonment that happens to me regularly. This feeling that envelopes me and makes me feel alone in a crowd of people and friends. I was reading a book on astrology abd delved really deep into Gemini. Confirm some things about me.

Sometimes I think I'm lazy another time so I just think I'm exhausted. Exhausted usually feels more correct. I feel like I'm always fighting for life. So this realization came to me that I am. I am allies the people around me and how they treat me and although I'm surrounded in love and encouragement I'm not really encouraged to do anything. I get "good job" and "you can do anything" and "you're really good at stuff" but when I have an idea no one told me to go for it. No one ever tells me I'm good at anything specific. I think throughout my entire life no one's ever told me things that are good about me and the rare times anyone has it was a complete surprise to me and I didn't feel like I deserved it. Is this why I have to fight to prove that I'm good? Am I good at anything?

The good thing is I'm really good at encouraging myself. In the end I guess I really have is your own love for yourself.