Bestie?

I don't think I can say enough how much I admire people that have been best friends for years. Some reason I feel like I've been left out of that even though I have such a yurning. Its not that I don't have best friends or loyalty in my life. I just wish, actually maybe I don't know what I wish. I guess I want an equal I can see me and talk to me and empathize with me and understand me. And its not that I don't have that either. I guess it's really hard to pinpoint what I even want so why do I want it? I guess it sits with the fact that I don't feel like it anytime I have someone to go to. So many people are utilized for different things because so many people understand from parts of me. Alas, I think its a human sociology that everyone sees what they reflect in themselves.

Baby/money

I'm having a really hard time with money.

I'm pregnant and I'm about to bring a human life into this world. I want to do it according to my values and knowledge. I know too much and care too much to have my baby at the hospital. I want a water birth. I want a safe relaxing welcome to my baby. I don't want people telling me what to do and when to have my baby. I don't want to be treated like a consumer cow that people usher around like a blind tourist.

Why won't ahcccs cover a $2000 midwife but will cover a $100, 000 hospital visit?

I'm so lost. The cheapest I can't find is $325 a month and I just don't have it!!!

A quote from maiju

Go where you are celebrated – not tolerated. If they can’t see the real value of you, it’s time for a new start.