I want to be taken care of.
I want to fuck up and know for sure I have a safe place with someone.
I want someone to care as much as I do. And need me as much as I need them.
I don't want to feel alone.
I don't want to feel like a slave. To life. To dishes. To children.
I don't want her to want me to find friends. I want her to be enough. She is for me... But I want her to want to be enough. I want to feel taken care of. And safe. I want to rely on someone.
It's my own fault. I can't rely on any one. But while I want others to know they can trust me and I'm here for them why doesn't anyone want to make sure I'm safe and that I know I can't fall too far?
I don't want to do all of this on my own. And I don't want to do other people's crap either.
But still she's here for me and she tries to help. Is nothing ever good enough for me? What will it take for me to feel love? Why am I destined to be a caretaker?
Why can't any one comfort me when I cry? Why does every one just think I'm dramatic and can't see how deep the hurt got in order for me to be this way? What do I even need?
